Monthly Archives: September 2013

Marriage is not SOCIAL TRAP

Marriage as said, are made in heaven which continues to live in earth. Marriage is not only a bonding between two people but also between two family, two society and two cultures which should be handled with care, understanding, trust and love. It is a sign of agreement which makes couple to stay together no matter what consequences arise between them.

Marriage is universal, no matter where we would go in the world there is marriage. However the meaning of marriage might be different and the way it is done but it still exists all over the world. Marriage is sacred and not a social trap. It requires proper guidance for those who enter the married life.

Marriage is not a social trap. It is an emotional, psychological, mental need. As long as mankind has existed, man has always felt a need for having a woman in his life, children, and to create and raise a family and the same goes for a woman.It is bond of two relationshipsthat’s nothing but two heartsas one soul to spend the entire life happily. Parents will not be with us every time and everywhere, so there is a need of  someone who is always with us every time-everywhere and supports  us in every aspects, it gives a meaning to life by giving a new generation. Rituals and customs establish public relations with friends and relatives that keep an individual strong psychologically. On health perspective, having only one committed partner will keep a person away from the contagious diseases communicated through physical contact.

Marriage brings the stability in the unstable life of a youth to become responsible person. It is the requirement of the society. It is helping our society to make stable. If there will be nothing like marriage then society will become unstable which will be very dangerous and unsafe for everyone. The feeling of being bonded with a person makes another feel strong that he/she has a soul mate, with which he/she can share everything.  Sense of belongingness inspires the individual to perform their obligations in social and professional areas. The pampered girl or boy transform themselves into responsible men and women after marriage.It provides a proper environment for children to grow up in, gives women security while raising children, and stabilizes the structure of society, preventing men from doing whatever they want.Marriage begins a family and Families are the building blocks of cultures.

The greatness of Hindu marriages is understood when we are in a very hard situation, the time when only our life partner will stay with us sharing our hard work and other people including our children try to escape. Every relation in our life will go away from us one or the other day but only life partner will stay with us till we are on earth expecting only love from us. There are women and men who are very much independent, single, no kids, living in their own home with their own luxury but they do want someone in their lives whom they can share their ups and downs with somebody to call their very own. It should be about working together, being together, yet at the same time having independent minds.After marriage it’s never ‘you’ or ‘me’. It’s always ‘us’. Whether it’s anything you do or any decision you make, it’s always the two of you taking a call jointly and not you as a single person.

Married women are significantly less likely to be the victims of violent crime than single or divorced women. Married men are less likely to be part of violent crimes than unmarried men. The social bonds created through marriage yield benefits not only for the family but for others as well, including the larger society. It is proved that Married couples build more wealth and earn more money on an average than singles with similar education and job. Marriage is good for the couple as it provides the optimal conditions for bearing and raising children.

Marriage is said to be healthy social trap. A trap for the existence of human being in earth. Marriage is created by our ancestor so that we human being can live a social life peacefully with trust and commitment to our partner. But when these trust and commitment get hurts, situation become worst and we feel we are trapped in marriage. Jealousy and Possessiveness can make the situation worst.However, if the partners are caring, understanding, love each other and trust on each other, and thenit’s a perfect bonding. But when it is affected by dowry, money, status, cheating, misunderstanding, ego, wrong attitude, selfishness then it ends in trap. Marriage is a social obligation. There are sometimes many demands from groom side. Marriage gives family pressure. Marriage for a girl becomes a trap if she is not satisfied by her new in-law family, she can’t even break the relationship as she is bonded to the society. No marriage is perfect and we would witness marital conflicts, some leading to separation, divorce, violence but many survive even in periods of adversity.Those that endure this conflict and find ways of addressing them are the real heroes and heroines in marriage.

Marriage is all about give and take. Marriage is different for different people depending on their perceptions, understandings and trust. As long as we respect each other’s feelings and emotions the journey will be smoother else it will be tough and both feel they are trapped. Being together, having no mutual respect, feelings and understanding certainly make the marriage, “a social trap.”There could be conditions where a marriage becomes social trap but it is totally depend upon the married couple how they handle their problems and bad situations in their life and support of each other. It is a place where we find more love and affection after your parents.The mentality -‘Men earn and wife is home-makers’ have changed now. Both the partner earns and manages their home together with none considered less than other.

Modern Day Marriages

Marriage is a beautiful legal bond between man and woman by which they become husband and wife. It’s a new chapter in both bride and groom’s life where each of them step into a new phase of life of becoming a new person. Marriage means more responsibilities and expectations from each other. In Indian culture, a marriage not only binds two persons but also bring together two families. Indian Marriages are more like a religious ceremony than a social function. It is one of the greatest event in the Indian family.

 

Arranged marriages have been a part of Indian society for ages and it is a critical responsibility of parents and other relatives of both bride and groom to find a suitable life partner for them.In Indian society, traditional arranged marriage means marring to someone unappealing without any say in the matter. It is believed that traditional arrange marriages are required to maintain social satisfaction and also enable elders to preserve their family values and principles. In the past, the age of traditional arrange marriage was quite young.

 

In modern arranged marriage, the prospective bride or groom has a lot more say as to who they will eventually marry.Things have progressed a lot from past, now girl and guy both meet each other and if they don’t  like each other, they can easily say that this marriage will not work out. However in traditional arrange marriage, girl or guy may wind up marrying a person who they do not want to get married to but its  realised only  after they are  married to that person.That’s why Modern day Marriages are more successful as people get to know each other before marrying. In modern arrange marriage, in order to have a good match the age of bride and groom is an important criteria. The preferable age for girls is around 25 or 26 and for guys no later than 30. Arranged marriages take everything in account especially economic standing of the families. It is a way of ensuring financial security of the bride.

 

Indian Matrimonial websites are playing important role in Modern day arranged Marriages. Matrimonial websites register users, after which they are able to upload their profiles into a searchable database maintained by websites. Those users looking to find suitors search the database with customized searches like  nationality, age, gender, religion   etc. Matrimonial websites basically take all the requirements from potential bride or groom and they come up with certain replies which they think could match their requirements. An important part of our matchmaking process is getting to know the customers and build a bond of respect, privacy and trust. These Matrimonial websites do a thorough research on the background, personality, life partner specifications and complete understanding of the expectations to help to find your true happiness.

 

Indian Matrimonial services are especially popular in India and among Indians settled overseas, as an alternative of arrange marriages. Parents choose several possible candidates before arranging a meeting with the family of the prospective spouse. The couple often has the chance to go to blind “date.” The parents sometimes exert a small amount of pressure on who they should marry, it is only because they want their children to be happy. In this globalization era, where the world has become very small, the same is happening for online matrimonial services where we get to choose our  life partners from any part of the world unlike earlier days where finding a groom or a bride was restricted to certain areas as parents or relatives used to use their social networks to locate potential brides and grooms of appropriate social and economic status. Now in this changing world, parents are accepting life partner for their children from  different religion, caste, country however earlier days it was a big no-no from them.

In modern India, arranged marriages are very much in demand because people have high expectations, with a list of requirements. Dowry is becoming much less common these days. Rather it’s the amount that the family will be spending on the wedding that’s important. However in some communities ,they decide before the wedding what things to be given as dowry and how much they want to spend on the wedding but in other communities it is just what they want to give happily to their daughters to make her feel more comfortable. Marriages are also becoming a platform to show the status. The fashion, the fabulous clothing of the women and the men can be seen in any grand modern Indian wedding. Modern Indian  Marriage is an grand, expensive and emotional event full of religious rituals and customs. In India, a wedding means a grand feast and loud celebrations.

Indian marriage is conducted on a large scale so requires good planning to go smoothly. Now a days, wedding planners takes up all the responsibilities of  pre and post wedding preparation  for arranging a grand wedding within the budget. They arrange all wedding functions with different themes. They make the marriage occasion as special memorable occasion.

 

Marriage is truly rewarding in life and communication is the heart of a successful marriage. Acceptance is another important ingredient of successful marriage. To accept your spouse for who they are. As long as both husband and wife keep in mind that nothing is perfect and priorities need to be revisited in every stage of life and corresponding actions need to be taken, the couple will manage to find the right answers for their specific situation. Share your dreams and goals and find ways to support each other to make them happen in both big and tiny ways. The dynamics in married life can be changed by changing your action instead of changing your partner’s action. If we start blaming and criticizing each other,than it results in disconnection and eventually divorce. Marriage is about suitable and compatible life partner and commitment and it is the most important element in life that keeps a relationship going. A healthy balance in life is key to success to any relationship. The last but not least any problem in married life must be addressed with love.